Hello social media friends who regularly like and comment on whatever I post – I appreciate you so much

Hello social media friends who only comment on things of real interest to you  – I appreciate you so much

Hello lurkers who don’t ever comment or acknowledge my posts but take what they need from my thoughts and experiences – I appreciate you so much

Hello ‘muters’ (those of you who mute people), oh sorry, you won’t have seen any of my posts…🧐 as you muted me, and you probably won’t see this one either; not sure why we are friends…meant in the nicest way 🙃

It’s OK to be any of the above, but if this is social media then it’s also ok to be social and appreciate that we are all real humans, and in this blog I wanted to try and get my head around what I see social media meaning to me. I hope you’ll enjoy my ramblings and as always I think it’s good to share.

I confess I don’t have some clever repetitive strategy on social media and I may well be slated for that, but I don’t want it to be a numbers game. When sales is a numbers game you just end up with mediocre relationships that may not last that long and are really not fulfilling. I have the same theory with social media. I want to make great connections for the right reasons and for longer lasting relationships.

Be my friend

I get lots of friend and connection requests on my social media channels every day, from people who I don’t know, and I went through a phase of just accepting them all, and then I thought well I don’t know why they want to be a friend or connected, and I’d like to know, so I guess it’s all about getting to know them, isn’t it?

This can be a long time consuming process, but in social media terms the friend request, follow or connection request is the start of the relationship. So just like in real life I thought I’d share with you some of the No No’s I have discovered in my years of connecting on social media.

You may well recognise some of these.

The scripted message

A typical scripted connection message goes something like this:-

‘Hello Jules, my name is xxxxx and I am looking to expand my network with quality contacts. Would you be open to connecting?’

This is just a little lacking in substance because I still don’t really know why they want to connect. Sometimes this varies to say – ‘we share the same connections.’ And this has the same feel to it as well.

I’ve also heard LinkedIn experts say don’t send messages – no-one reads them and who has time for that anyway. Now of course this is your choice but for me I just think a little time, care and uniqueness goes a very long way.

Buy Me!

There are some who sell to me straight away ⛔️. Please do not do that!

Why not join my facebook group instead – that’s all about selling Live it, Love it, Sell it with Jules White, it may help you to see sales in a different way.

Yes I sold back, but in a very gentle nurturing way…!

Like Me / Endorse Me

There are some who invite me to like their page or join their group straight away, and on occasion I have had people endorse me who I have never met! Flattering but also not really relevant as how do you know that I’m good at cake making…?

I don’t know you yet and I don’t think I will ever need to drink gin on a menopausal retreat..! Well not just yet anyway – never say never!

You assumed a lot.

AWOL

There are some who I never see or hear from again – where did you go and why did you come in the first place..? Mysterious, but I will stop looking for you at some point!

It’s clear I have so many questions about how we behave on social media.

It’s fair to say it can be a confusing, noisy, overwhelming place.

So my ramblings and thoughts about living life online are as follows:-

Send that message

I love the connections who send a message to say why they’d like to connect as that’s what I do. As I mentioned above, make the message genuine and unique, not a scripted message or one that is a cut and paste that is sent to everyone else you’re connecting to. It’s kind of obvious.

I connect very much based on my gut reaction, my intuition and maybe it’s also a spontaneous moment. A great post, or article/blog – just that moment when you truly feel like they are someone you would like to know more about. Someone that resonates with you, that gets you – maybe they have shared the same experience and yet you would never ordinarily have met!

Wonderful!

It is still real life!

I guess we are always learning but for me I want to be social on social media and I always liken it to real life; who you meet online is who you would absolutely meet in real life when it comes to me.

Let me ask you this…if you walked into a bar…

Would you ignore anyone who spoke to you?

Would you smile and put your thumbs up with no comment as you stood with someone in conversation?

Would you put your business card into someone’s hand without finding anything out about them?

What’s your magic?

The fact is we are all unique and we all have a choice as to exactly how we behave and present ourselves to the world. That is without doubt the most magic thing about all of us and the human race. Our very own UHP – Unique Human Proposition® There is no-one else on the planet like you. NOWHERE.

But, how often do we hide behind who we really are because we are fearful of whether people will like who we really are. Because people say we can’t use those words anymore and people don’t like things done in that way anymore!

It’s only words

The latest I read on LinkedIn is that telling people ‘how you help them’ in your intro is now overused, boring and not ‘cool’.

But I like helping people…it’s a great word. Who doesn’t want some help. If you don’t want to connect with me because of a word then we are not meant to connect. Another tip on this subject is to wait for everyone to change that word because someone said they should, and then leave yours as ‘I help people’ and you will be the only one again! Simple.

I confess now and put it out there to you all, I use the following phrases and words…

AUTHENTIC

UNIQUE

I HELP people

LOVE – I overuse this word so much. I love many things, yes read the comments I make and listen to my podcast – I LOVE everything and everyone! I do not apologise for loving the word LOVE!

And I do not apologise for being ME. It’s taken me 50 years to love who I am and I love the connections I am making now because, guess what, they too are like me! Yes…that’s often why we connect.

BE YOU

Never stop being authentic, unique and never stop loving to help people! Very pleased with myself that I got all of those words in one sentence, but not to trigger the people who are getting hung up on words, I promise. I wrote it like this because this is how I wanted to best express what I truly think.

It’s time to be socially YOU and NEVER fear that you won’t be liked, heard or listened to – you will be all of those things, by the right people. 

So, hello – I am Jules White and I would love to find out more about you, chat a little, maybe even share a tea (builders with sugar) and a slice of cake (or maybe you’d prefer a touch of alcohol as we are in the festive season!)

Let’s connect and see if you like how it feels to be uniquely human and we can say we met online.

Find out more about the UHP programme right here and thank you for reading this far!

Jules White

Jules White is a professional sales coach whose business allows her to do what she loves, helping entrepreneurs and businesses to succeed at sales and to fall in love with selling. She has over 30 years' experience of business and sales, including winning investment from Peter Jones on Dragons' Den, making her a real dragon slayer. She is a regular public speaker and hosts the podcast 'The Human Conversation' on iTunes.

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