What if some of your best sales conversations are happening when you’re not even in the room? Referrals are made through the relationships you build, and in this article, we look at how they are among the most influential outcomes of building genuine business relationships.
Summary
- The best referrals are built on trust. People recommend you because of how you show up, deliver and make them feel.
- Networking is about relationships, not immediate sales. Today’s conversation could become tomorrow’s recommendation.
- Direct sales should feel human. Listen, understand and focus on whether you’re genuinely the right fit.
- Speaking makes you memorable by sharing your stories, personality and expertise. This can generate opportunities long after you leave the room.
- Silent referrals are incredibly powerful. Great work gets people talking about you when you’re not there.
- Customer experience is part of your sales strategy. Happy customers can become your biggest cheerleaders.
- Ask yourself: are you referable? Build relationships and experiences that make you the person people immediately think of when recommending.
Someone in a networking meeting says, “You need to speak to X.” A former client is chatting to a business owner who is struggling and immediately thinks of you. Someone in an audience hears you speak, remembers your story, and passes your name to a colleague six months later.
We think about sales as something we actively have to do – make the call, attend the meeting, have the conversation, follow up and hopefully make the sale – but there’s another layer to sales that a lot of people miss, and that’s what people say when you’re not there.
Referrals Aren’t a Sales Strategy You Can Switch On
We all encourage referrals by asking happy customers for testimonials, building referral partnerships, and making introductions for others, but the best referrals are the ones that happen naturally because somebody trusts you enough to put their own reputation behind your name.
Think about that for a minute. When somebody says, “I know exactly who you need to speak to,” they’re transferring some of their trust in you to somebody else!
That trust has been earned through the way you show up, the conversations you have, the experience you provide and, importantly, the way you make people feel. That’s your Unique Human Proposition® (UHP®) at work.
Networking Is About More Than Finding Customers
I’ve always believed networking is about connection and building relationships. Of course, networking can lead directly to sales. You might meet somebody who needs exactly what you offer and have a conversation that leads to working together, but if you walk into every networking event wondering, “Who can I sell to today?” you’re missing a huge part of its value.
The person you’re talking to might never become your customer, but they might know someone who will. They might remember something you said and recommend you six months later. They might introduce you to someone at another event. They might follow your work for years before an opportunity arises. This is why your human conversations matter.
- Be curious.
- Ask questions.
- Listen
- Help where you can.
- Share your stories and expertise without turning every conversation into a pitch.
Direct Sales Still Starts With a Relationship
Sometimes you meet someone, have a conversation, discover they have a challenge you can help with and move into a direct sales conversation. There’s nothing wrong with that. Sales shouldn’t be a dirty word! The difference comes in how you approach that conversation.
If you understand your UHP®, you don’t need to force the sale. You can listen to what the person needs, understand where they are now and explore if you’re the right person to help them. Sometimes you will be. Sometimes you won’t. Strangely enough, the times when you’re confident enough to say, “Actually, I don’t think I’m the right person for you, but I know someone who might be,” can build just as much trust. People remember how you treated them.
Speaking Creates Relationships
Speaking is another brilliant way relationships can generate sales without the traditional sales pitch.
I’ve delivered hundreds of keynotes, spoken at networking events, appeared on podcasts, run workshops, or sat on panels. The audience hears my stories, understands my values, experiences my personality, and learns from my expertise. Instead of knowing what I do, they begin to understand who I am.
When people feel that connection, they remember you. You might have someone approach you immediately afterwards and say, “Can we have a chat?” Brilliant! Somebody else might walk away and recommend you to their sales director the following week.
Silent Referrals
I love this type of referral because you have absolutely no idea it’s happening! During lockdown, we couldn’t attend events or network as we normally would. Like everyone else, I had to adapt my business and run online courses. Something amazing happened. Seven people became clients of my six-session programme through referrals.
I hadn’t met them at an event.
I hadn’t been in the (virtual) room when my name came up.
Other people had recommended me.
Seven separate opportunities had come from relationships I’d already built and the work I’d already done. That’s what I call a silent referral. It’s somebody talking about you when you’re not there to influence the conversation – and you can’t create that with a clever sales script.
It happens because you’ve done a good job. Your customer becomes your salesperson without you having to ask them to sell.
Your Customer Experience Is Part of Your Sales Strategy
Far too many businesses think the sales process finishes when someone says yes. For me, that’s where another important part of it begins. Every interaction your customer has with you contributes to the relationship.
- How easy is it to work with you?
- Do you listen?
- Do you communicate?
- Do you do what you say you’ll do?
- Do you make people feel like they matter?
- Do you genuinely care about the outcome?
A customer who has a fantastic experience is more likely to buy from you again. They also become one of your biggest cheerleaders, and those cheerleaders create conversations you’ll probably never hear.
“Who did you use for that?”
“Can you recommend someone?”
“I’m really struggling with sales.”
“You need to speak to X.”
Are You Referable?
Here’s something I’d love you to think about. If somebody was asked today to recommend someone who does what you do, would they immediately think of you?
Being good at what you do matters, but being memorable matters too. That doesn’t mean shouting louder or trying to be everywhere. It means showing up consistently as yourself, understanding and using your Unique Human Proposition®, having meaningful conversations, providing a brilliant customer experience, and doing work people genuinely want to talk about.
Referrals are reciprocal by nature. When you become someone who generously connects people, people remember that too.
Are You Ready to Build Referrals Through Relationships?
Take ten minutes today and think about the last three referrals you received.
Where did they really come from?
Was it a former customer?
Someone from your network?
A speaking opportunity?
A connection you made months or even years ago?
Trace the relationship backwards, and you might be surprised by how many conversations, interactions, and moments of trust happened before that referral ever reached you.
Then ask yourself one final question: What am I doing today that might make somebody recommend me tomorrow?
“Jules spoke at our company conference and it was genuinely a highlight of the day. She was professional, engaging, and brought real passion, enthusiasm, and knowledge around selling in a human way and finding your own strengths. It really shone through and left the team feeling inspired and motivated.” Holly Sale, Brand Manager at Placefirst
Want to find out more? Schedule a virtual cuppa with me, and we can have a chat about my coaching services.
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